[News] L.A. Weekly Compiles List of the 20 Worst Hipster Bands

L.A. Weekly recently compiled their list of the 20 Worst Hipster Bands. By the look of their list I’m assuming they essentially took the line-ups for recent concert festivals and decided to make a worst hipster bands list out of it. You can read the full 7 page click-trolling article here, or look down below where I summed up or quoted some of their complaints about each band, several of which seem to be based on looks or aspects not actually having to do with music.

 

20. The Black Keys
“…Black Keys guitarist Dan Auerbach is more concerned with beard grooming and disheveling his hair.” -Nicholas Pell
19. TV On The Radio
“Band member-producer David Sitek has even managed to make Scarlett Johanssen sound ugly.” -Dan Weiss
18. Sleigh Bells
Mad that Alexis Krauss wears her own bands merch at shows.
17. fun.
When questioning if they should be considered hipster – “We argue that having punctuation in their name earns this distinction by default.” -Andrea Domanick
16. MGMT
Angry about the type of music they played on their first album and also that their second one didn’t follow suit.
15. Death Cab For Cutie
“Ben Gibbard delivers sickly-sweet lyrics in a nerdy, nasally voice” -Linda Leseman
14. Wavves
“…trying way too hard to be off-beat.” -Nicholas Pell
13. The Decemberists
“If you think adding an ‘e’ (like this band) is an ingenious play on words, you’re cordially invited by Colin Meloy’s cult for a “free stress test.” It includes: 1. Fans who think he’s literary 2. Fans who think listening to him makes them literary and 3. Folk-rocking 40-somethings…” -Dan Weiss
12. Pomplamoose
Not happy they had to hear their music featured in Hyundai commercials.
11. Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros
“…the new beard and persona make him less of a Bowie than the Charles Manson of twee.” -Andrea Domanick
10. White Rabbits
Angry at the number of drummers they have.
9. Beach House
“…they’re neither about beaches nor house music..” -Linda Leseman
8. The Airborne Toxic Event
“They named themselves after a Don DeLillo plot device. They frequently play with a string quartet. They released a live album recorded at Disney Concert Hall.” -Andy Hermann
7. Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti
Isn’t good live
6. Beirut
“…sounds like the type of thing you invented just to get laid at Bonnaroo.” -Paul T. Bradley
5. Grizzly Bear
Mad their music is vague and that they cracked the Billboard’s top ten.
4. Bright Eyes
“Between his impish whine and depressing lyrics, it’s a wonder he has any fans who aren’t yet suicide victims.” -Paul T. Bradley
3. Arcade Fire
“Arcade Fire is not good for us” -Ben Westhoff
2. tUnE-yArDs
“tUnE-yArDs hAs a mOsT aNnOyInG nAmE” -Linda Leseman
1. Bon Iver
Angry that Bon Iver’s music doesn’t inspire our generation to have sex with strangers in club bathrooms, do property damage or party as hard as the previous generation.

 

-Alex

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