[Past Mistapes] Alex – (March 2003)

Past Mistapes
Alex – March 2003

I have 100’s of burnt cd’s from the last 13 or so years. Most of them haven’t seen the light of day or been listened to in over a decade. There are some that have titles, but most have nothing written on them at all, leaving me completely in the dark about what is on them or when they are from. I’ve decided to travel back in time by listening to a few at random and judge how good or (more likely) bad my musical tastes were.  I will be grading each song on a pass/fail system. A song will receive a passing grade if I still enjoy it and would put it on some sort of playlist (or simply because I don’t completely hate it). A song receives a failing grade if it’s not something I would give the time of day now or am embarrassed about having ever liked in the first place.

The first one of these I did was the second thing I ever wrote for this site. I’m not going to link to it, because like the majority of songs on these CD’s, it’s become embarrassing to revisit. I am going to try and do more of these though, because it’s always fun to make fun of yourself and what better way to do that than look at all the crap music you listened to in the past.

I’m happy with Past Alex (at least until I listen to this) because he actually wrote the date and year on this burnt CD, saving me the trouble of having to guess when it was made. March 2003 is the title written on the CD and I must say, I’m a little scared to see what I was in to 9 years ago. Here goes nothing…

 

1. Rammstein – “Feuer Frei”

Not the worst start to an old burnt CD, but definitely not the best either. I don’t think I would put a Rammstein song on any future playlist’s unless I was making some sort of pre-funk to beating up nerds (which in reality would just be me and my friends) or something, and even then, it would be “Du Hast” instead of “Feuer Frei.”
FAIL – 0/1

2. Yellowcard – “Something Of Value”

Oh man, I have no memory of ever liking Yellowcard, which can only mean I put this song on here by accident or my mind realized how terrible it was and blocked it completely from memory. I hope now after I listened to it, a slew of angst-filled, inconsequential memories don’t come flooding back causing me to pout in my room while wishing some girl I’ve probably never talked to would like me.

FAIL – 0/2

3. CIV – “Shout It”

I remember meeting these guys at a Warp Tour way back in the day and they were as nice as can be. Unfortunately being nice doesn’t  necessarily translate into enjoyable music.

FAIL – 0/3

4. Fermin IV – “004”

Not only is this song all kinds of terrible, but upon further research I discovered it was also on the soundtrack for the Oscar snubbed Vin Diesel classic XXX. It’s only fitting the band and song that have the number 4 in them are also my fourth fail in a row.

FAIL – 0/4

5.  Big Dumb Face – “Space Adventure”

“We navigate and we create big robots to help us out.
When we land, we make new friends.
and they’re impressed with our robots.
We like fun. Games are fun. Fun is good.robots are good.
We live on earth, but out in space, we like to live on our spaceship.”

FAIL – 0/5

6. Atom & His Package – “Tim Allen Is Not Very Funny”

(skip to 5:26)

This song is so unpopular I couldn’t even find a Youtube link for it, think about that for a minute. I’m not even sure where I would find something like this to put on a CD. I was apparently a musical hoarder of crap music.

FAIL – 0/6

7. Nerf Herder – “5000 Ways To Die”

Haha alright, if I had started the album with this song, it would have almost certainly gotten a fail from me, but after hearing the last six songs I’m going to toss this incredibly angsty song a pass if only for nostalgia purposes. Don’t let that go to your head Nerf Herder, you’re still not a good band.

PASS – 1/7

8. 37 Slurp – “If You See Kay”

“If You See Kay” sounds like F-U-C-K, get it?

FAIL – 1/8

9. Rancid – “California Sun”

Finally a song I will say I like without feeling too embarrassed about it. Naturally I wouldn’t have the actual Ramones version of the song, because that would be far to cool for me at that age, but Rancid never did anything for me to dislike them and it get’s bonus points for being on the Chef Aid: The South Park Album which I absolutely loved back in the day.

PASS – 2/9

10. Authority Zero – “One More Minute”

I almost spit water everywhere from laughing when I came to this song. Not only did I completely forget this song/band existed, but after re-watching the music video above, I realized how incredibly early 200o’s (aughts? I never know how to phrase a statement like that) they were. I almost want to give this a pass for nostalgic reasons, but I think I’m going to limit myself to only one of those per write-up. Sorry Authority Zero, you and your terribly named band will just have to wow me with something else.

FAIL – 2/10

11. The Who – “Teenage Wasteland”

Huh? What am I doing with a legitimately not terrible song on this? Granted, it’s by no means an original song to have, but so far it’s the only one that is still listened to (and it has several decades on every other song) by the general public.

I’m now over halfway through the album and the back half is really going to have to pick up steam if it wants to get anywhere close to getting a 50% passing grade.

PASS – 3/11

12. Fenix TX – “Threesome”

I actually remember enjoying this song back in the day, I totally had the most insanely average “rock” out sessions to bands like Fenix TX and Sum 41. But like the movie Batman & Robin, just because I can remember it, doesn’t make it good.

FAIL – 3/12

13. Lostprophets – “Shinobi Vs Dragon Ninja”

See the write-up for #10.

FAIL 3/13

14. Box Car Racer – “Instrumental”

I almost want to give this a pass, but the Blink 182esque guitar breakdowns and the fact that I just listened to it and already forgot what I listened to earn it a modest fail.

FAIL – 3/14

15. Fatboy Slim – “Because We Can”

Ah yeah, getting some Moulin Rouge up in this bitch! But in all seriousness, this song could almost have been my entry for “Pre-Funk & Party Music“, because it still does put me in a more enjoyable mood (albeit it could just be in comparison to some of the other music on here). Plus Fatboy Slim has always been on my good side.

PASS – 4/15

16.  BigWig – “SellOut”

Is it too old man of me if I think this just sounds like a bunch of annoying noise? I’m not very happy with past Alex, he is disappointing more than a kid in an 80’s movie would his dad.

FAIL – 4/16

17. Deliverance – “Dueling Banjoes”

I don’t care if your butt clenches tighter and tighter with every banjo strum, I’ll always like “Dueling Banjoes”. Actually I’ve been looking for a new ringtone for awhile now, and nothing gets babes more than a ringtone of a song featured in a movie that’s remembered mostly for a violent butt-raping scene.

PASS – 5/17

18. Bad Religion – “Punk Rock Song”

Hmm, It’s not the German version of the song which I actually remember better, but I’m feeling a little bit more generous as I near the end of this CD, so I think I’ll go ahead and give it a pass since it’s not the worst.

PASS 6/18

19. Transplants – “Diamond and Guns”

Garnier Fructis may have forever tainted this song with their commercials, but it’s been long enough since I’ve seen one that I actually enjoy this song quite a bit. Although the music video does it’s best to change my mind, I’m still going to give the last song of this CD a pass.

PASS – 7/19

FINAL SCORE: 37%

FINAL THOUGHTS: I sort of hate my past self. With most of the old Cd’s I listen to I can distinctly remember listening to certain songs from them, but I have a hard time remember ever liking bands like CIV, Yellowcard or whatever the hell 37 Slurp is. Granted I was 15 when I made this and when I think about it that way, a 37% almost seems high (some were pity passes, but whatever). Actually now that I think about it, what was I doing with the “Dueling Banjos” song on a Cd when I was 15?

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