The Herd – “Music Crush”

On a weekly to bi-weekly basis (depending on our motivation) Dead Horse March will be giving its contributors a music related prompt to answer. They will cover a variety of topics and will hopefully act as a window into our minds, hearts, and souls, showing what we like and the path that led us there.
This week we asked our contributors, what artists or bands (if that’s how they roll) they have crushes on. We didn’t specify what a “crush” entails, instead letting everyone interpret it how they wanted.
There are two types of musical crushes. The Rock Star Crush, based in image, style, sexiness, & other such surface-level infatuation factors. Then there’s The Artist Crush, which is the result of admiration for the work someone’s doing. The latter doesn’t come along so often, but sticks around when it does, kind of like love. The former is one-night-stand material – marked by delusions of grandeur, embarrassing behavior, & perhaps a few wet dreams. Every once in a while, you’ll encounter them both in one human, in which case your life is probably ruined because you’ll either: a) never be with this person because they are a rock star & getting to them would require your being a huge creep, or b) be with this person & soon realize that you have set yourself up for . . . (gasp!) LIFE WITH A MUSICIAN, i.e., a life riddled with late nights, loud noises, & the absence of your companion.

Formalities established. I will forever have The Artist Crush on Sam Beam. I have very little inclination to procreate, but for Sam Beam, I would have all the babies. I am continually wooed by the man’s ability to blend contemporary life with raw human emotion & experience, & timeless pastoral visions. No matter how many times I listen to The Creek Drank the Cradle, I will always find new words that make me dizzy with joy & admiration.

As for The Rock Star Crush – lately I’ve felt a bit jaded by the conventional hardcore male rock star thing & have consequently developed some mean girl crushes. Most recently, those Lemolo ladies. Girls put on a damn fine show, and I wouldn’t mind taking all their clothes. To wear, I mean. I wouldn’t mind borrowing their clothes . . . I mean to say, they’ve got style.

Iron & Wine – “Faded From the Winter”



Grimes – AKA Claire Boucher – is an official dreamboat and this isn’t solely due to the fact that she attempted to create a houseboat and sail the Mississippi, though, it definitely doesn’t hurt. If you knew me, you’d know that I’m Fifth Element fanatic and Miss Boucher happens to have engraved her hands with elemental-based ink. Anyone that rocks hand-tats inspired by films starring Bruce Willis and believes in extra-terrestrials deserves a coveted position on my list of lusts. Also, her music doesn’t suck –at all– in fact, it’s fairly incredible and her self-produced album Visions offers almost indescribable pop appeal.

The Coathangers – I don’t know if we are allowed to include an entire band, but I tend to do what I want, ask my Dad. These Georgian riot-girls provided one of the most frenetic and fallopian-filled performances I’ve ever witnessed at the Comet Tavern in Seattle. I had foot bruises the likes of which I hadn’t seen since high-school punk shows, and I have clouded memory of hurling a Rainier Tall Boy at the stage with seemingly wide-spread acceptance and approval — I wasn’t the first nor the last to Mazeltov a beer can against the wall. Talking with these talented, tattoo’d, and beautiful women after the show (and splitting a cigarette and beer with them) only cemented them as one of my favorite rock and roll acts around. In my dreams, we are a polyamorous pride wandering the country side slaying stages together…

The Coathangers – “Smother”



Esperanza Spaulding
In the realm of jazz, noodling Miles Davis post Bitches Brew, Afro-Brazilian inflected melody is not really my thing. Perhaps it is my ignorance of the virtues of the form, or just a long enduring love affair with the scratchy voiced croon of a grammaphone or low toned oboe. Regardless, when Esperanza Spaulding burst onto the scene a few years ago, even though I couldent listen to her music for more than a minute on record, I immediatly fell in love. That voice, those fingers, the soul, the fucking hair. The fact that she trumped J. Beibs for best new artist, covered L. Hill for the President and is from N. Portland (my old summer haunt) makes her as crushable as any woman I’ve ever seen. I know that there are millions of jazz dorks (even those who can’t get sonically down), waiting in the wings to kiss her muscular pluckable hands but damn girl, choose me?


Esperanza Spalding – “Inutil Paisagem:



Every time Sadie has called us lesbians for listening to Tegan and Sara, we have assured her that you do not in fact have to be gay to listen to – and enjoy – Tegan and Sara’s music. Seems we were wrong. (Hear that Sadie! You were right all along!) Let’s be honest, Tegan and Sara are super-hot, really funny, and write/perform really rad music. Apparently this combination of characteristics not only describes our dream men, it also describes our dream women because we have huge crushes on Tegan and Sara. It works out perfectly because there’s two of them and two of us! The number of times we have listened to their album The Con and watched the corresponding making of DVD or sat in the living room attempting to learn all of their songs definitely leaves us comfortably in the obsessed fan-girl category. Oh yeah, and it’s definitely just a coincidence that Leah’s acoustic guitar is the Epiphone version of their Gibsons and that her haircut slightly resembles theirs. Julia does not have a matching haircut but may or may not religiously follow them on twitter (what’s up @teganandsara) and own their entire discography which she listens to on a regular basis.

Tegan and Sara – “Back In Your Head”



On the one hand, it’s having your music crush locally available is nice because you have a chance to see that person perform live pretty regularly–or, one time, serve you whiskey at King’s Hardware (she definitely poured an EXTRA big shot of Jaymo for me)–but on the other, it makes no difference when your music crush is an exceedingly hot, bad-as-hell rocker girl. I might as well be living on the moon.

Planetary separation notwithstanding, lead vocalist Dita Vox of local thrashers Thee Emergency is my long-standing musical crush. Besides the obvious desirables (stunningly, exotically beautiful–I think she wins an award in the Seattle’s Most Beautiful people ranking literally every year. I’m serious.), she’s a straight badass onstage and very sweet offstage. Her versatile pipes power TE through Detroit-style garage rock and sultry, soulful jams alike, and her confident, genuine stage presence (she lets you know she’s having fun, too) provides the perfect conduit for Thee Emergency’s bags of raw energy.

It’s a testament to her qualities that after watching the one girl and three hairy, skinny dudes of Thee Emergency rock out, straight guys (and one gay woman I’ve taken to see a show) will sum it up thusly: “wow. that was hot.” You’ll have to judge for yourself. Just kidding. The only conceivable answer is that you agree. Dita Vox, you are a sexy, brassy rock goddess. Shred on.


Star-gazed. Star-dazed. Star-hazed. I’ve never been so distracted at a show in my life. I think I may have had temporary tunnel vision during The Growlers set when I saw them play at Mississippi Studios in Portland about a month back. It was almost as if Brooks Neilson (lead singer) was up there on the stage alone and his band’s instrumentation was merely a faint humming in the distance. It’s not every day that you see a lead singer that actually just sings. No guitar. No keyboard. Just Brooks and his microphone swagger. With stage presence to kill, Brooks puts on a performance that‘ll leave you drowning in your own pile of drool. Maybe I’m just a sucker for long, curly hair and a well-manicured mustache but either way this dude has seriously got me blushing…




Recently I’ve been having a problem that I used to give Travis crap for all the time: I fall in love with every girl I see. I always thought girls were cute and all that business, but in the past few months I feel like I fall in love four or five times a day just from seeing a beautiful girl walk across the street or sitting at a coffee shop. This falling in love problem of mine is even worse when it comes to music. I would say that two or three times a week I form a musical crush on a different artist just from looking up information and pictures for Song of the Day posts. Emily WellsLindi OrtegaBat For LashesJessica Dobson (Deep Sea Diver), Caroline Polachek (Chairlift), Wild BelleSoleyGrimesDillonSharon Van EttenNorth HighlandsLouise HullElephantJulia Holter and everyone in this video could all easily be my choice for musical crush, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I could also go with everyone else’s choices for this prompt; I would even give Brooks Neilson of The Growlers the weirdest kiss on the lips.

… Shit, I wrote that paragraph hours ago and walked away hoping a specific lady would pop in my head that was clearly above all the rest. No luck though, I like them all and if I could pick all of them I would, damn me and my own made up rules! Alright, fuck it, St. Vincent. I don’t have much rationale behind this one, especially since I’m picking her above all the other crushes I have, but there’s just something about her. When I first listened to her music, it left little impression on me. It wasn’t until I watched the music video for “Cruel” that I started to form a different opinion on her based almost entirely on the crush formed while watching her get buried alive (among other things) in the video. She has a different sort of approachable cuteness about her that I can’t help but fall for.

Anyway, I started to enjoy her music more and then she popped up in an episode of Portlandia to strut around looking sexy in police uniforms and the rest is history… A sexy, adorable, crush filled history. ..

St. Vincent – “Cruel”


Who are some of your music crushes? Let us know in the comments below!

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